Quote of the Day

Brandon Routh talked to ComingSoon about some crappy flick of his that nobody cares about since it's not another Superman movie, but thankfully they get those pointless PR-demanded questions outta the way quickly and move on to Man of Steel talk. Choice bit:

"ComingSoon: What sides of Superman and Clark Kent are you excited about exploring in the sequel?

Routh: Well, I think that something that audiences are looking for – and I certainly am, too – is for Superman to actually be able to lay a punch on someone or something. I was filming and I thought, "I haven't really hit anything. I feel like I'm going to need to let some of this anger out." So I'm happy that I think that's going to be a central part of the sequel, getting a good villain that we can actually have physical altercations with."

You mean he might fight something other than a rock this time around? Imagine that! Maybe it will be a Willow tree with branches swaying in the wind. Or a large bowl of Jello.
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Latter Day Delirium

Ya know... I really got nothing today. My synapses are fried; I can barely string together a sentence. I've been doing my usual - scanning the internets, looking at the endless supply of shite it supplies, trying to think up something anything to say. But nada. Zilch. So on with the euphemisms for endless nothingness.

I could direct you to the new trailer for The Incredible Hulk but frankly I don't give a rat's ass about that movie anymore. I was a little curious at first, but no more. I keep hearing all this "poor tortured artist Ed Norton" bullshit and I ain't buying it. Mr. Norton gets credit from me for Fight Club and for American History X, but otherwise, come on people, he was in Death to Smoochy and Keeping the Faith. And I've maintained ever since he appeared on the scene back in '96 that his performance in Primal Fear was ridiculously overvalued. Ooo I'm innocent, oooo no I'm evil; boring fucking performance.

All that is to say that I'd take Eric Bana a thousand times over before even considering Ed Norton.

What else, what else... as long as I'm adding to the drivel that is today, that Hulk train-o-thought sent me scurrying for pictures of Eric Bana - a commonplace enough occurrence here at MNPP - and I randomly stumbled upon these shots of a post-bukakke Orlando Bloom which I'll probably never find a valid reason to share, so what the hell:


Yes, Orlando, it's true; it does do a body good.
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Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

...playing Fußbal...


...or pool....


...or just laying around on the sofa...


...or reading on the patio...

... with Jude Law. Really, it doesn't matter; any of these will do fine. As long as Jude is around, and I am not here in my office with a mean case of the reds. I think he could make me smile. Right, Jude? Make me smile, man.
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Pretty Boy Padalecki

For someone who doesn't watch Supernatural- and no, you will never convince me to do so, sorry - I sure do post on it often enough. What can I say, this Jared Padalecki fellow keeps catching my eye. Anyway, here are a couple new pics of J-Pad via here, just cuz it's a pleasantly harmless enough way to end a dull Tuesday:

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Catch The Compass, If You Dare

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What would happen if you took the two sides of Indiana Jones - scholar and adventurer - and then basically neutered him of everything interesting? You'd unfortunately have Daniel Craig's turn as Lord Asriel in The Golden Compass, out on DVD today. I don't blame Craig, of course - at least he cuts a dashing figure in tweed - and I don't blame Phillip Pullman's source material, of course (Asriel's much more interesting in the books). I blame the shredder they edited this story in.

But that's the biggest problem of The Golden Compass film-edition, one that hits all the bases, and not much of anything survives completely unscathed (that said, everything bounces off Nicole Kidman like that old school-yard chant "I'm rubber, you're glue..."). It's still an alright movie, which is why I'm reminding y'all it's out today and you ought to catch it if you haven't caught it already - it's just not all it could've been.

And every day that passes with more Hobbit-related news-bites is another day this franchise turns to dust. Sigh.
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Still Lovin' Lee Pace

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How in the global-warming-world have I never seen the following video before? Apparently Lee Pace starred in the following short film - titled polarbearman - to bring attention to the plight of the polar bears blah blah blah forgive me for my polar-bear-blahing-away sins but Lee Pace spends most of this film either in his underwear or taking a bath or in a soaking wet suit. Was this made for me or was this made for me? Yeah yeah, polar bears are great too. Anyway...

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All this film managed to do was make me conflicted over wanting to save the polar bears. Cuz sure, they're cute all all, but if global warming means Lee Pace is wet and undressed and shit, I don't know what the right answers are anymore.

For more Lee Pace love, head over to Low Resolution.
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"Why Don't I Own This?"

What a coincidence! Not only is today Daniel Day-Lewis' 51st birthday, it's also International Talk Like Daniel Plainview Day!

Bastard in a basket! Bastard in a basket!

Much fun to be had, of course. In its honor, I give you that SNL skit "I Drink Your Milkshake" so you can remember some of the lines you ought to be running through this afternoon:

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5 Off The Top Of My Head - Random Quotes From Peripheral Characters In Welcome to the Dollhouse

I had a prophetic vision this morning. See, I woke up early - 4am, actually - and couldn't fall back asleep. I lay there tossing and turning for a couple hours, and suddenly it came to me. Some people get the old blinked-on light-bulb moment for how to cure diseases, or how to negotiate peace treaties between warring nations. Mine came delirious from a lack of sleep and it told me I had to do a post on Welcome to the Dollhouse today. Specifically, some random quotes from peripheral characters. Because I'm saving the world here, people. I'm fulfilling my destiny. My sad, tiny destiny. Sigh.

Anyway... I typed out all of the following quotes by heart. I haven't even seen this movie in well over a year. I have however seen it in my life a grand total well into double digits. I could probably quote it from beginning to end if I tried. Love. Marry. Forever, me and WttD. Come back, Todd Solondz. Please.

Cookie: But Brandon. This didn't even kawst anything.

Ginger: We finger-fucked. Once. Last Spring.

Tommy: Wanna bite?

Steve Rodgers: 'Special People' equals retarded.
Your club is for retards.

Lolita: Someone barfed there fourth period.

And a bonus! Just because this screen-grab
makes me laugh and laugh and laugh...

Brandon: 3 o'clock. You get raped. Be there.
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I Am Link

Some of these are a couple days old, some are new... some borrowed some blue blah blah blah... if I seem more scattered than usual, it's because I am. Stick with me this week; it's rough waters, mentally. Yadda yadda, here's some shit.

--- Anything But A Birdcage Flashback, Please - Rodrigo Santoro is in the "Jim Carrey falls in love with Ewan McGregor" movie I Love You, Phillip Morris? Er... yes please. Rodrigo's always welcome. I do have high hopes for this one but, like Andy at Towleroad, am given pause by the Versace-soaked costuming in this first picture (seen above). Eww.

--- I Want To Believe - STYD has a new batch o' stills from the X-Files sequel, including that lovey-dovey one I posted yesterday as well as our first official look at Amanda Peet and Xhibit in character.

--- I Am Mr. Hand - Dread Central has the cover art (<---) and some info for the Director's Cut DVD release of Alex Proyas' fantastic 1998 film Dark City. Has it really been ten years? What a shame that Proyas has yet to recapture that magic.

--- Bilbo, Meet Guillermo - Hobbit director (feels surreal to say that and mean it) Guillermo Del Toro chatted with the requisite site The One Ring on what he plans to do with Tolkien's series.

--- An Evil Pig And An Evil Clown Walk Into A Bar - Lotsa news on the Clive Barker front (via BD); supposedly Dread, Pig Blood Blues, and The Madonna (all stories from his Books of Blood) are in line for film adaptations. We'll see... Barker's so often screwed up in translation I don't harbor a lot of hope here. For every Candyman there's ten Lord of Illusions, it seems. Makes me not want them to ever touch my favorite story, "In the Hills, The Cities" (best horror story ever written, btw).

--- Big Bad Ben - AICN talks with Michael Emerson, aka that cool mutha Benjamin Linus, of Lost.

--- Kaufman Unleashed - I'm linking to this story at Cinematical because it holds links to two pairs of images from Charlie Kaufman's Synecdoche, New York (probably the movie I'm most anticipating this year) and I'm too lazy to bother linking them myself. This post's gotten long, man.

--- And finally - seriously; finally - y'all should head over and check out Joe R.'s rundown of flicks he will not and will be seeing from the Summer 2008 crop o' flicks. Specifically, go yell at him about not wanting to see Indiana Jones and the Case of the Crystal Pepsi. I'm gonna.
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Innocence With Age

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Today marks the 50th birthday of Michelle Pfeiffer (I know; could somebody tell me how that is 50 years old? Insane!) and the 51st birthday of Daniel Day-Lewis (also looking damn fine... as long as he isn't dressing himself). Seeing this got me thinking about The Age of Innocence, of course. I've really only recently come into a semi-obsession with DDL's beauty... I think it's an appreciation I needed to age into, if you know what I mean... so when Innocence first came out I was mostly only hypnotized by Pfeiffer and Winona Ryder... looking at the film now, through DDL-appreciating eyes, however, I'm just sort of dumbfounded this morning by the simple superficial beauty of the film's two birthday-celebrating leads against each other. So here are a bunch of pictures!

Now that's how you cast a tragic romance.

Happy birthday, MP & DDL!

(All pics from The Face)

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Good Morning, World!

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Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeestak!!!

(via AICN)
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Will Arnett's Sperm Gets The Job Done

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Amy Poehler's preggers, y'all!

Wouldn't it have made more sense for Amy Poehler and Will Arnett to have revealed this info last week, when their burgeoning oven-bun could've made for a perfect PR push for Poehler's comedy Baby Mama?

The movie obviously didn't need the extra push, having opened at number one - I didn't get out to see it (yet); I became scared away by negative reviews. Anybody catch it? I don't care if it sucked or not; I'm gleeful that a female-led comedy made decent money. Bring 'em on, movie studios! I want Spring Breakdown already!

Perhaps they're thinking of their second weekend numbers. Gotta keep the movie fresh on people's minds!

That's a load of cynical shit I just typed. Will & Amy would never market their stomach-nugget for professional gain! Congrats to the couple!
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Shia's Sun-Blanched Corpse

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Does anybody else find the pictures of a shirtless Shia LeBeouf laying in the grass at Coachella (more at JJ) a little creepy? First off, he kind of looks dead. Secondly, they just seem more than a little stalkerish - his eyes are closed, just sunning himself in the grass, and some stranger just walks up and starts snapping pics of him? Getting like really close to him. Weirdos.

Unless this is some strange PR thing for Indiana Jones and the Case of the Crystal Pepsi (like Harrison Ford getting waxed last week; wha?) in which case... nevermind.
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Holy New Bat-Posters!

Via this website, comes four new posters for The Dark Knight.

There are larger versions at that link, as well as a banner image not seen above that brings together the three character posters into one. And supposedly there's maybe gonna be a new trailer showing up today... (via DH)
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Sculder Gettin' Hot & Heavy

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Listen, I'm as psyched as any X-Files geek that a new movie's only a couple of months away. But the above image (via IESB) has officially tipped my geek-scales over from enjoying the "Oooh Scully and Mulder are totally still making with the ol' "in-n-out" to "Er, this is supposed to be a scary movie, right?"

Team Carter needs to release an oogie-boogie image soon. I need some viscera wrapped around Duchovny's head right about now.
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Pic of the Day

Y'all do visit Bai Ling's blog, correct? Whenever I'm feeling a little too sane, I take a hit off of it and my mind just floats away into the ether. Anyway, here's Bai Ling and Pink posing in front of a drive-thru menu at Wendy's:

Soak in the lunacy. Drink it up. Drown in this shit. It's gold!

Bai Ling is my favorite person on Earth.
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I Always Knew Prince Was A Creep...

Prince covering Radiohead? Prince covering the song "Creep"? For reals? I... I guess so. He did it at Coachella over the weekend. And here it is! Craziness.

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Don't get me wrong - I'm a big fan of Prince. This just... is... unexpected. An unexpected meeting of two worlds, if you will. A welcome one, mind you. Weird, is all. Have I mentioned my brains ain't right? Pay me no mind. Yay things!
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Happy Frakking Bday, President Roslin!

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What do you buy the fictional President that has Cancer and hallucinogenic drugs and the entire human race's fate on her back and an airlock fetish and a fancy new wig and a psychotic sidekick and a muffled in the way of those who've seen it all and lived a long life already love affair with someone she's often bickering with but in that sort of way that you know if they didn't have a thousand things weighing on their minds including again the entire fate of humanity they'd totally bump some nethers for her birthday?

I dunno. But check out my ode to the lovely Mary McDonnell for her birthday over at The Film Experience this morning.
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Friday Gets a Big Helping Of Dick

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Casablancas, that is. Via BD:

"Ryan Hansen (Superhero Movie, "Veronica Mars") is set to star in New Line Cinema, MTV Films and Paramount Pictures' Friday the 13th, according to this blog. He joins Jared Padalecki, Derek Mears, Amanda Righetti, Danielle Panabaker, Aaron Yoo, Travis Van Winkle, Willa Ford, Nick Mennell, Jonathan Sadowski, Nana Visitor and Arlen Escarpeta in the Marcus Nispel directed remake, which will bring Jason Voorhees back to Camp Crystal lake for more mask murdering mayhem."

Hansen played asshole frat boy Dick Casablancas on Veronica Mars, and was a hoot; I'm hoping he's typecast as the same spoiled rich boy type for Friday the 13th and we get to see Dicky skewered something awful. Cuz that'd be funny. I always kinda wished Veronica would take a machete to his ass, anyway.
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Yo Joe

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Here are a bunch of new pictures of Joseph Gordon-Levitt from Wonderland magazine, just cuz. Have a terrific weekend, everybody!

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I Am Link

--- Gyllenhaal Au Jus - Jakey's thinking about opening up a restaurant, apparently, says "an unspecified source" (always the most reliable narrator of reality), via here. The only thing that matters is are we talking here in NYC or are we talking LA, and can I book the table closest to his ass right now?

--- All About Caprica - The TV Addict got their meaty paws on a copy of the script for the BSG spin-off Caprica, and supposedly have all the spoiler-riffic details right here. I say supposedly because there's no way in heck I'm reading what they wrote. I want it delivered unto me fresh as a baby's bottom!

--- Summer 2011 - That's how long we'll be waiting for the second half of the film version of the final Harry Potter book, The Deathly Hallows (via Cinematical). The first half will come out in November of 2010. Meaning Danny Radcliffe will basically be a grandfather by the time it hits DVD, right?
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My Hobby Is Stuffing Things

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This week's Horror Roundtable at The Horror Blog asks us:

"Name the one horror prop you would most want to own."

Narrowing this one down to only one answer was a feat, but I came up with one that I think would make a nifty addition to any peeping gallery. Check it.
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Today's Fanboy Delusion

Right now I'd rather be...

... taking a mid-afternoon nap with Ryan Gosling.
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